In It Together
Join in!
Hello! How are you?
I have been AWOL for a while, naturally as a woman, I want to apologise for this, but i’m trying not to, I’m working on saying sorry less, as we all could. No reason to feel bad right? Head has been full, focus on other things. And I have been really surprised about the appearance of Andrew Tate in here, this seemed like a safe space to be. We can only wait for him to get banned with his hateful words. In the mean time it is best to block him if you are using the substack app. Think about the beautiful David Attenborough who had his 100th Birthday last week instead, I saw a great meme: “Be someone David Attenborough would be proud of”. I hope I am.
PB’s
I deadlifted 75 kgs last week, and squatted 60 kgs. So that is good. I really love lifting, it makes me feel calm, and strong. I even fantasise about punching the baddies (the manosphere idiots, Trump and Farrage, etc) when a workout gets hard, they give me more oompf. Muscles and strength are very empowering.
Trolled
I had a strange Instagram happening a couple of weeks ago, a nice middle class lady told me off for re-posting a reel I had put on my story’s. A good man was discussing the horror of the awful ‘rape academy’ where incredibly large numbers of men are getting tips on how to rape (and film) their wives, upsetting to the extreme right? I do post about politics and male violence as it affects women, and I’m here to help women. But this Lady took offence, must have upset her lovely day, she said it was “off topic”, she’s not the only one too. But I will continue to post about the things that are happening to so many women, and about what may happen if the far right gain power in the UK. I know most of you are on my wavelength and believe in human rights, but please leave now if you are a far right enthusiast, I just can’t leave politics out of the equation, loving living things as much as I do. (And it’s my place to decide what I put on my page ffs Lady!)
Thank you for being here.
Lots of you are all over the world, I can see this from the Substack stats section which shows me whereabouts you all are. I haven’t been lucky enough to travel widely, so it is wild to think of where you all live, I wish I could travel to all the different countries and meet you all, imagine what a grand tour that would be!
The closest I can get is meeting you in my 'In It Together’ membership, here on substack. Each month you can ask me questions, anything to do with your menopause transition. Join the members chat for info, support and virtual hugs. And get access to my masterclasses, the first of which will be on Anxiety and Stress in the menopause transition- the whys and what to do’s.
This month I had a few questions in the chat from members who couldn't join the AMA live, so I am going to answer them in a dedicated post, join ’In It together’ to see my answers by upgrading your subscription in the substack app! It’s just £7.00 or $9.50 a month, or pay for a year and get a month free! See you there.
This is what women are asking me:
“What can I do about itchy ears, driving me mad!”
“Can I do anything about heart palpitations? Or do I need to avoid sugar and caffeine even more than I already do?”
“What’s the insulin resistance situation? I know I feel better when I cut out sugar but why is that?”
As so many of you are in a different time zone I am going to be changing the time of my monthly AMA’s (ask me anything) to later in my afternoon, so that if you are in the USA you will be able to join in during your morning- does that sound good?
What have I been up to?
Right now I am very busy making seven presentations on navigating the menopause transition and menopause in the workplace, which I will be delivering to the good people of the Devon and Cornwall Police force over the next twelve months. This is so exciting for me and my business, a real boost! If you work for a company that is getting it’s menopause policy together, I can help! Please drop me a message. I am on Linkedin too.
Podcast guest-
was lucky enough to have a chat with the brilliant Leila Ainge for her podcast Psychologically Speaking, earlier in the year. It is now available to listen to. I felt as if I had had a therapy session by the end. Heartily recommend Leila’s work, she has such a brilliant mind, a great take on the way we think and how our experiences shape us, and she is so kind and patient.
The ADHD meds-
It was all going so well, I have been taking ADHD medication since February, starting with a small dose, which made me feel weird, better, then more anxious. They upped it- now we were talking, but still lower than they’d expect, so on , Good Friday (or not) I had my monthly tritation check up, with a pharmacist, over zoom. And she thought I should try a bit more, 40 mg which may help my addled mind settle better. Hurrah I thought. And waited for the usual message from my local pharmacy telling me my prescription to the doors of focus and calm awaited me. It never came. Must be due to the Easter break I thought, and waited still. Nothing.. Ok better chase this up.. pharmacy had nothing to tell me, so I got onto the NHS appointed, private (don’t get excited) ADHD peeps, Clinical Partners. Oh they said, in your notes it says you need to arrange an ECG so we can make sure your heart is ok before we prescribe more meds. Erm, is it not necessary to tell me this? By this time a week had gone by without any Elvanse, (dopamine). Ok off I go to find out how to get an ECG, Luckily this is available quite quickly the following week at the GP. All is fine, phew. But the Clinical Partners want to see the results, not just a note from a Doctor to say it’s ok, the actual results. Back and forth, back and forth another appointment, emails, notes, phone calls. Finally a copy is sent to them. I ring again to check, “You should hear in a few WEEKS!” What? So I am without meds and floundering, hence radio (substack) silence. I am sorry. Still I wait, and assume they have forgotten me. Rejection sensitivity makes asking for help, and pushing for answers incredibly hard, I found out just yeaterday that when neurodivergent people experience rejection sensitivity (dysphoria) the brain area that feels physical pain lights up, it is no wonder that we so often avoid situations where this may occur.
Which brings me to my:
Happy place, the GARDEN-
As far as nervous system regulation goes when staying still is out of the question, my garden never stops giving. In it’s third year, second Spring, It is blooming! I have recently planted an apple tree, a long lived wish, spurred on by the sight of all the Spring blossom and the price of organic apples. It’s making me happy. I look forward to seeing a bird perching in it.
The garden is endlessly rewarding and on sunny days it is hard to resist it’s pull. There have been some late dinners around here!
The pond which I dug out and made last summer, now has resident snails and Tadpoles, some of them have legs! And there is a huge Dragonfly nymph in there too, an apex predator, sign of a healthy eco system. The planting around the edges has done super well. And the bench! I found it on facebook marketplace, same price as a poor quality new one. Victorian cast iron ends and brand new slats, so comfy, its a firm fave with the dog, as soon as I perch on it he is there beside me.
AI
I love to write, and I’m not a fan of AI, everything I write comes straight from my own noggin, am I a fool? What are your thoughts on AI? I am scared about the waste of water, brains turning to mush, soulless writing, incorrect information, being controlled by billionaires and that my job will no longer exist. (Off I go running back into the garden).
How are you doing, are you experiencing any menopause symptoms? Are you not sure? Where are you in your menopause transition? I’d really love to know, please reply to this email or leave me a comment in the substack app.